guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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