In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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