I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
