I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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