You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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