Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
