How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
