in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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