You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
