That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
