did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
