i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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