Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
