I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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