If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
