my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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