Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
