Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
