Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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