If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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