Rock
Scissors
Fuck
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
