gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
