Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I fill condoms, not promises.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
