At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
