Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
