I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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