My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
