Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just gargled with NyQuil
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
