very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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