Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
