Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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