So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
