she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
