no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Found your dick twin last night
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
