So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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