Whod you bang
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
