I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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