We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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