You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
