i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
