ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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