you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
