Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
