i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize