There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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