im six kinds of drunk right now
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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