So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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