3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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