Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
