There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize