then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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