Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
