NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
