You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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