i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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