I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
