i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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