i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
