Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
