I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
