he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
