atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
