You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
