Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
