Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
